Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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