Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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