im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize