I think scott just propositioned me for sex
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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