I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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