How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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