don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize