Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you didnt know i had herpes?
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The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
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Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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