the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
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