i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
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I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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