I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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