I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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