your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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