Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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