and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
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My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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