mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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