I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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