I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize