My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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