i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize