she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
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Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If I die, sorry about rent.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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