i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
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Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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