Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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