I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
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Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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