I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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