dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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