we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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