his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
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Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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