Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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