Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
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I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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