I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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