Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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