Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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