so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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