I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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