I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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