If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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