rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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