Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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