Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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