i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize