i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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