her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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