Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize