she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
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Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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