At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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