Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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