Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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