i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
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She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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