the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize